People like to set goals. It gives them a sense that they are going somewhere, and many believe it gets them there faster. And with good goals, this is often true. They motivate and energise and provide a sense of security and comfort that one is on one’s way.
Good goals do not put pressure on you. They should motivate you, but this means that you truly want to do a task because it is relevant and meaningful to you. It aligns with your needs, values and aspirations. It adds to happiness rather than taking away from happiness. While it is a fact of life that we all need to have an income to sustain us, to pay for the roof over our head and the food on our table, we cannot buy happiness.
Whatever goal we choose, the road towards the goal should already bring us happiness. Postponing happiness is dangerous. We may keep on postponing it because even when we reach a goal, the happiness we experience can be fleeting. It may just be the feeling you have when you have a momentary respite from feeling under pressure to reach a goal. However, if the path towards your goal is already fun, you will have a fun time whether you reach the goal or not. But that means every little step you take on the path and every task you do should be rewarding to you. It should not be the things that someone else feels are best for you, because no one knows you as well as you do yourself. If you connect with yourself and closely listen to what makes you happy just as who you are, the path will follow, as will the goals.
Goals are an instrument to help you on your path. They should never constrain you or make you feel insufficient or lower your confidence or self-esteem. Goals do not give us a purpose. We use them to fulfil our purpose, and happiness is an important part of the purpose. Just imagine. If everyone in this world were happy, we all would live in a happy world. Certainly, there are times where things seem not as good, and you may feel down, but this may not always require a change of goals. It could be that there are other things in your life or earlier times that weigh down on your mood. Sometimes lows can also feel to come out of the blue. Accepting professional help can then get you back on track if you feel stuck.
Goals should lift you up. A good goal is one where you feel you are flying when you are on your path, where it has been worth it even if you never reach it. The short term goals are the ones we set every day and which we often need to reach, but they are more like the to do’s on a shopping list rather than the long-term goals that determine the paths we take in life. It would be great if all our everyday tasks are also uplifting, but the long-term goals definitely should do so.
You can find true and authentic goals to who you are by looking at your needs, values, and aspirations. What is relevant and meaningful to you can be found in the past or the present. You can ask yourself how you felt when you carried out a specific task or were in a particular situation. If they felt good, they are more likely to align with what you want for yourself in the future.
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© 2021 Christian Jonathan Haverkampf. All Rights Reserved. For more articles, see www.askdrjonathan.com. To contact me, please see www.jonathanhaverkampf.com or www.jonathanhaverkampf.ie. I am also a guest on www.wordnets.com. These are just my thoughts. I may be wrong.